Matthew's Pictures

October 25, 2009

And Down I Go....

"Tut tut, it looks like rain."

I'm sure most people have heard that line from Winnie the Pooh. I heard it in my head all day Friday. I felt like there was a dark rain cloud hovering over my head wherever I went. Everthing has been going so well, I just don't understand what has thrown me into this state of sadness. I really felt like I had lost Matthew all over again.

I was trying to pinpoint the reason, but couldn't really determine it. Was it the Sudafed that was making me feel loopy, was it the current medical situation with Abbie (Abbie has mild bi-lateral VUR, somewhat similar to PUV), or is it just something about 7 months?

Whatever the cause, I am feeling somewhat better today. I've decided to finish the Bible Study book that I had started after Matthew died, Threads of Hope Pieces of Joy. I got through the first four chapters originally, then just stopped. I still consider myself new to this grief thing, and I pray that finishing the book will bring me to a new step of grief, and past this stage, whatever it may be.

On a different note, me, my mom and the kids drove to Jacksonville, FL (about 3 hours north of me) on Friday evening and stayed in a hotel there. We got up in the morning (Saturday) and went to the 5K run and family festival for the Fetal Hope Foundation. There was a great turnout there which inluded families of both survivors and angels. I posted Matthew's picture and story on the Wall of Hope, and ran the 5k in his memory. I won't even post my time on here, because I'm surely not much of a runner...more of a run for several yards, walk for several more yards kinda girl. I prefer to lift weights. LOL. It was a very nice time, we got back yesterday around 6 PM, and my body is paying for it today. :) The picture on here is the balloon release that was done in memory of the angels lost.