Matthew's Pictures

June 10, 2009

This Craaaazy Life

I haven't done a regular post in about a month, since Matthew's 2 month birthday. It definitely has something to do with being back at work full time, and loading up my calendar with anything and everything. I have to always be busy, not sure why, but I thrive on this crazy life. Working 40 hours for a government contractor, working part time selling Arbonne, starting a non-profit organization to support moms in the area who have received a fatal diagnosis (I haven't really spoken of it much, will give more details when it is set up which it is almost there), gymnastics, swimming lessons, cooking, cleaning, kids, husband and our awesome Lord! Phew. I'm tired just typing all of that! LOL! Two things I miss so dearly that I was able to do when I wasn't working: 1)Spending daily time with the Lord. It wasn't long ago when I was consistently reading atleast three chapters a night in the Bible, going through my Bible based grief studies, and having daily conversation with the Lord. I haven't picked up my Bible outside of church in weeks now, haven't moved forward in my grief studies, saying only a quick prayer at dinner time. It's not that the Lord isn't important, because He is the light of my life. But how do I make the time? If anyone has tips on how they make their time with God, please share! 2)Time with Matthew. I feel as if I am neglecting his memory. Monday was his three month birthday, and I did not go visit him. I think the last time I went there was for his 2 month birthday, if it wasn't then, it was Easter. There are so many things I want to do with his items that I feel like I will never get done. Printing out his pictures, preserving his flowers, organizing his items, etc. In spite of my recent frustrations, we have had many good times over the last few weeks that I would like to share! So enjoy the pics!
Unfortunately, many of the PreK pictures didn't come out well, but I think these are the best of them.

Here are a few pics with Abbie's ballet costume. I was really far back at the rehearsal, so the pics didn't come out well for that event either, and we weren't allowed to take pics during the show. But my dad snuck in his teeny tiny video cam, so I'll eventually get a copy and post it.

And....the Premiere Orlando Hair Show! This was my third year in a row doing it, and by far the best experience. I worked for Sam Villa, who is also connected with Redken. I did the mainstage show presentation, worked the booth for a few hours, then was in the Stylist Choice Awards presentation for Redken in the evening. I'm trying to get some video, but here are some pics for you all to see. I left at 5 AM Sunday morning to prep for the show, didn't get home unitl about midnight. Longest work day of my life for sure!


carebear said... are making me feel crazy just reading about your schedule! Ian's been gone this week for duty and it's just them against I don't have a lot of free time myself, but the one time I spend every day with the Lord is in the shower. I know it is not the "ideal" place, but I'm alone and can listen to Him and cry if need be too. Hope you find a good balance soon.
And you are spending time with newest project is in his honor...he knows that. He's so proud of his mommy. :)

Anonymous said...

I feel you Jenn, I really do. I feel like since Matthew passed I went through some time where I grieved really hard and since then I will only think of him now and again. Then next thing I know it's been almost a month since I even grieved for him. I am still in the crying phase and am almost in tears now as I write this. Even though we do not spend the time to think of him and grieve for him it does not mean that we love him any less. He will always be in our hearts. Unfortunately, I can't offer any help when it comes to making time. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day. However, I have noticed that somehow we always manage to find time for things. For example: When I had no children, I thought I was so busy. Then Emily came along and again I thought I had no time. Of course there were 2 more that came after that and again I still feel like I have no time, but now I have added fulltime school to the mix and spending quality time with each child. For some reason, and I can't tell you how, there always seems to be time. Maybe it's because even though I'm going to bed later I feel more fulfilled at the end of the night with all that I've accomplished that I am able to get up the next morning on little sleep and do it all over again. I love you Jenn and we all love Matthew, if you need help with things please just reach out to me. You know I'm always here for you!!!