Baby Matthew. Now What?

We named him Matthew- Gift from God.

I told the doctor that I wanted to see the fetal surgeon in Tampa even though the levels were high. The kidneys still looked excellent, and I knew of one other person who he performed the surgery on that also had high levels. If he did it for her, why not me?
I had all of my records sent to a fetal surgeon in Tampa. I spoke with the Fetal Care Coordinator there who said the Dr. needed to review the records, but that I should be able to get in that week. She would call me by the end of the day to confirm the appointment time.
I waited...amd waited...she called me back at 5:30 PM. She said after reviewing the baby's records, the surgeon said there was nothing he could do. Nothing?! As she began explaining things on the phone, I couldn't hold back the tears. What did they expect me to do? Carry a child who would die after he is born? I just couldn't understand. She said the urine tests just weren't good enough that they felt surgery would not be of help for the kidneys at this time.
I couldn't even finish talking to her. I simply said "thank you" and hung up the phone. I laid on the couch and cried, trying to get it all out before I had to pick up Abbie and Raleigh.