Matthew's Pictures

February 22, 2009

Precious Things

Click the "Play" button on the gabcast below to hear Matthew! (You may need to pause the music player at the bottom first.)
Gabcast! MatthewHeartbeat #1

I was sent a blanket for Matthew some months ago through an organization, I'm almost positive it was called Hippocrates Children. Of course I can't find the info for it now in my emails or online, but the sister of a woman at my mom's church made it and sent it. They make these "little hero" blankets for sick children. It hangs over the side of the crib that may never be occupied by Matthew. I look at it every time I walk into the room that he would share with Raleigh and am very saddened by knowing that the child it was made for may not be cuddled, rocked to sleep, or fed while wrapped up in it. He is my "little hero" for surviving as long as he has under such tight circumstances and I will forever be changed by having him in my life. The blanket will continue to hang, and the crib stay intact as long as he still has a chance for a miracle.

As I noted briefly in a previous entry, we made a Baby Matthew Bear at the local Build a Bear. Raleigh slept through the process of picking out a bear and outfit, but Abbie had a great time. She picked out a little star and made a wish for Matthew, placing the star inside the bear. We saved one for Raleigh to do as well. We also purchased a recorder piece that we recorded his heartbeat on at the last ultrasound and is inside Baby Matthew Bear's stuffing. While Baby Matthew Bear resides in the crib, I'm sure he will make his way into my bed and arms to comfort me in the coming months.


carebear said...

That is a beautiful sound you have to cherish. Thanks for sharing. :)

Donielle said...

What a really neat idea with the bear! And the blanket is beautiful too. Hope you have a great day today!

Mandy said...

Jenn...I am a friend of Donielle and we also blog together. I am sure you have heard this a million times, but I can't imagine what you are going through. I had a baby boy on December 20, 2008. I was treated high risk because it took us 2 years to get pregnant. I think I would have crumbled if I found out something was wrong with Mason. I don't think I would be strong enough to talk about it as you are. You are such an inspiration of faith.

There is nothing that I or anyone else can say to help get you through this, but my prayers are with you and your family. May He continue to give you strength and grant you time with Matthew. I know Matthew feels your love already.

Amy said...


I was/am a friend of Donielle from college. She found me through my blog a few months ago after years of no contact. I was amazed to see her beautiful family of little Donelle's. She was saddened to hear my story of Liam - my son who died soon after birth.

I have a blog about my journey through grief, if you would like to read. I understand your baby Matthew is not expected to live long after being born.

I think your pregnancy photos are beautiful, a wonderful way to document his life within your womb.

You are in my thoughts.


Wendy said...

Donielle shared your story and I was so glad to hear of your faith and how it has kept you strong.

Love the bear idea, you are all in my thoughts and prayers

Judi said...

I follow Donielle's blog and wanted to say Hi! I will keep you and your family in my prayers during this terrible time.

Keri said...

Thank you for sharing your story, your pictures of your beautiful family and your faith. I will be praying for Matthew and for your family.

Laura said...

So beautiful...the bear will always be a treasure. Praying for your aching heart.

Mary Lou said...


I'm a friend of Donielle's through blogging. Your blog has touched me so much. I plan to share your story with my church family so everyone will be encouraged to pray for you and your family, especially little Matthew. Your blog is a great testament to your faith. God bless!