To C or not to C

I had a monthly appointment this morning at my OBs with the goal of setting some type of plan for delivery. Not as easy as I thought, which is very frustrating for me. I want everything to be planned out and as perfect as possible without any regrets.

I was hoping to delivery locally and to be induced a little early so that we would have a doctor that we know and who understands our situation. They told me today they are not able to induce me, because my high risk doctor in Orlando wants me to have a spontaneous labor(which under regular circumstances is what I would prefer).

The second issue is that Matthew is breech and highly unlikely to turn since he is so squished inside of me. My local OB said they likely wouldn't deliver a breech baby regularly and that in that case I would have to deliver in Orlando. (I have only seen three of the five doctors over there, 1 time each. Definitely not familiar with them.)

I asked her what the risks are associated with having a regular delivery when the baby is breech, and she said that his head can get stuck. Definitely not an option! Even though we know what Matthew's likely fate is, we would very much like to hold him and be with him while he is alive. I don't really want a c-section, but if it will spare him trauma, me trauma, and let us hold him alive, to me it seems the right way to go. Plus we could schedule the doctor that we want.

So to C or not to C? I feel just as unaccomplished with that plan as I was when I woke up this morning. The doc said she will have to consult with my high risk doctor in Orlando, and to wait and see how everything progresses, so it is out of my hands for now. Errrr. I do start going there every two weeks now, so hopefully we will have some better answers by then.